Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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