Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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