If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
