When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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