Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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