Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
