What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize