I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
