If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
