his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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