So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Randomize
