Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
