I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
