Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
