First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
