I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
