omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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