apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
