i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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