the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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