He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
