I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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