So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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