...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
this is an emotional support booty call
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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