I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
