well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
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