nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
