Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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