That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
