smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
