I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
