just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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