how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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