He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
