In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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