just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
