Barsexuality is the new black.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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