Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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