Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
it's great music for shaving your balls
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
