security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We are all done wearing pants today
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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