I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
