To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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