I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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