I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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