I'm jealous of your bromance
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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