I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize
