She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
