At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
