look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
