worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
